In our tips on how to maintain positive impressions during communication, here is the second tip. GET THE FIRST TIP HERE.
Let’s go ahead to the second tip.
2. DON’T COMPLAIN, COMPLIMENT
When you engage with someone in a conversation and suddenly discover yourself wanting to complain about something, it could be about their dressing, about their makeups and so on, divert your attention and look for what to compliment. You don’t have to create an impression that you are a fault-finder!
You also shouldn’t consider complaining about yourself, your failures and so on to someone you’re starting a conversation with, you shouldn’t make it a common part of your discussion with people. Dodge it as much as you can. The conversation should be neutral, it shouldn’t be about you anyway! Bemoaning about your failures or complaining about them will probably make them want this conversation to end fast. It also leaves a negative memory.
To complain means to express dissatisfaction about something or someone. If you are not satisfied with yourself, you probably will never be an interesting person in your conversation with someone. Except you went to meet a counsellor, someone who had requested to know what you are going, a relative, friend or people in your circles, you shouldn’t consider complaining about yourself as a way to maintain a conversation and be interesting. Someone once met an Uncle who wanted to give him some money to make certain investments but because he came complaining how things aren’t working for him despite all the money he had invested, his uncle changed his mind because “nothing was working”.
Complaints will either trigger pity at first sight or scare that person away. Both aren’t a good thing! While pity shows someone isn’t happy about what you are going through, they may not likely want to meet you again because they may feel they don’t have enough capacity to get you out of those troubles or they just don’t want an extra burden. You can’t build an interesting personality when you always complain about yourself and others.
Consider the following:
- During a conversation, find something about who you met to compliment on. You may also do that in a very helpful way. Remarks like “Wow! I like your dress, it looks super amazing. Red would be great too!”
- Instead of complaining about your ex to who you are just meeting, consider using words like “Although it didn’t work out between us because of strong differences, she was the best woman I had ever met!” People will always estimate how you discuss them with other people with how you discuss others to them.
- Instead of complaining about yourself and creating very unhelpful impressions, you can build a strong personality in people’s mind by using words like “although I failed at the competition, I realized I am truly a strong and intelligent person.”
It may be okay to complain to people you have a strong relationship with or those who have expressed willingness to listen to that part of you, it is wrong to create a negative or weak image of yourself. Your words may make people find you very good and sincere, yet very weak to maintain a relationship or handle what they might want to offer you.
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